


A Definitely Fond Memory That Isn’t Even A Lil’ Bit Weird

by Moophinz_isnt_here



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Crack Fic, M/M, i sure do love me some nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 03:55:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14708597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moophinz_isnt_here/pseuds/Moophinz_isnt_here
Summary: Denmark brings up something from the past that Norway would like to stay hidden in the sands of time. Iceland is completely stunned and disgusted.





	A Definitely Fond Memory That Isn’t Even A Lil’ Bit Weird

Denmark, Norway, and Iceland were all uncomfortably packed on a couch in the Dane’s living room. The only reason they were so close to begin with was the fact that said Dane had chosen to stretch himself out, and consequently, all over them as well. Iceland tried moving himself to the right to get closer to the arm rest, but Denmark had other plans— like using his back as a pillow. Meanwhile, Norway had the pleasure of being trapped between two long legs. Iceland glanced at his brother, thinking about how much he would hate to be him.

Denmark raised himself up to take a drink from his beer bottle and beamed brightly. “You two are way to quiet today! Haven’t gotten either of ya’ to say much unless I made a good topic choice.”

”Oh, what a tragedy.” Norway responded, voice flat as always.

Denmark huffed. “Our last conversation was about some stuff Ice couldn’t remember...”

Said island nation focused even harder on his phone to avoid being pulled any further into whatever they were planning on talking about next. Norway pretended to be interested in whatever was on TV but couldn’t successfully force himself. Denmark completely sat up and clasped a hand on his lover’s shoulder, pulling him into his chest. The sudden action was inescapable and only left Norway to accept the embrace. 

“Something just came to me—“ Denmark announced. 

“A brain?” The Norwegian gasped in fake astonishment.

Denmark continued his announcement unabated. “I thought of something real good just now. It was not too long after this lil’ guy popped up; when he was still a baby.”

Norway turned to the larger man, suddenly caring about where this was going. Iceland, on the other hand, didn’t need to know any baby stories about himself. He remembered enough on his own, and anything coming out of Denmark’s mouth was bound to be bad. Another trip down memory lane was unnecessary.

”It was the time he tried sucking on your boob.”

Norway immediately pulled himself away from Denmark and tried untangling his legs so he could escape. 

Iceland’s phone dropped. “What?!”

While struggling to keep Norway from getting away, Denmark flashed the teen a devious smirk. “Yup! Was a pretty embarrassing scene for poor Nor over here!” He turned back to Norway who had slid halfway off the sofa. “Don’t you remember~?”

”Why do you think I’m trying to get away from you?” Norway pressed his hands against the other’s arms. “And... I don’t have breasts...!”

Denmark frowned. “Aww, guess I’ll have to tell it all by myself.”

” _You wouldn’t dare_.” Norway stopped and looked him straight in the eyes.

Without any hassle, Denmark picked up Norway and placed him on his lap. “I _do_ dare.”

Iceland was beyond lost. It must have been a lot worst than he thought if it was making his older brother act so childish. This was normal behavior for the Dane, but Nor...

After an excited, obnoxious laugh, Denmark spun his tale of the time Iceland momentarily treated his own brother like a nursing woman. Norway hid his face in his beret once he was done hitting Denmark with it and muttering swears in Norwegian. Iceland sat completely still, afraid of where this was going.

-/-/-/-

Denmark hovered over Norway’s shoulder, both of them staring down at the infant wrapped in thick cloth and furs. Norway held the child close to his chest and whispered softly to him over his half-formed whimpers. 

“You’re scaring him...” Norway elbowed the other in his stomach. 

“Pfft. If anyone around here is gonna be scary to a baby, it’s gonna be you.” Denmark then almost perfectly imitated Norway’s constant facial expression. “That’s what you look like all the time.”

Norway looked up at him with the very same face, albeit higher in intensity, which earned a hearty laugh from Denmark. “Shut it.”

”Well, whenever you’re holding him, you look a lot softer.” Denmark quickly tacked on to his observations. 

“... shut it.”

The three were huddled by a fire in a room filled with maps and items picked up along their travels. The only other beings with them were three human servants off in the corners of the room, waiting to be commanded if need be. 

“Why is he so tiny?” Denmark whispered after only a few minutes of near silence. 

Norway rolled his eyes. “Why are you so stu—“

Dark blue eyes widened to the size of shields, and Norway’s body went rigid. Denmark was struck with immediate concern.

”Are you okay?! Why are you...” He slowly looked down to see what had caused such a strange and sudden reaction. 

In the Norwegian’s arms, the newly discovered infant appeared to have taken up quite the interest in his brother’s chest. With a bit of focusing, Denmark heard the crackle of the fire, and what sounded like suckling. He looked back up at Norway's face and stifled his bubbling laughter over the new expression it had taken on. Nor’s cheeks were a rosy red, and it spread to the tips of his ears. His lips were thinned into a straight white line, and he avoided looking anywhere that wasn’t at Denmark.

”I-Is he doing what I think he’s doing?” 

Norway wasn’t even a little bit amused. The blush only darkened. “Stop playing stupid and help me!”

A storm of laughter erupted. “Have you been raised from big brother to mother!?”

By now, they had gathered the attention of the servants who gasped in surprise at the scene. Thankfully, one of them reached down to take the baby away and give Norway something to dry the saliva off his gown.

”M-maybe,” Denmark managed to get out between giggles, “you’re actually a cow!”

”Stop it!” Norway hid his face in his hands.

”Do you even have anything in there?” 

Norway’s response was a strong punch in the shoulder before standing up and stomping off.

“That’s not becoming behavior of a mother!” Denmark yelled after him.

-/-/-/-

“I teased him about it for weeks!” Denmark stated proudly with his arms draped around both of the other nations. “Somehow, a few other people found out.”

Norway shoved Denmark away and repeated the same thing he had done years ago. Without punching him anyway. “Maybe others found out because you can’t keep your big mouth shut!”

”Don’t be like that! It wasn’t nearly that bad in hindsight, was it?” Denmark stuck his tongue out at Norway once he disappeared into the kitchen. “And hey, think you’ll ever let me try that?”

A pillow that was most definitely from one of the kitchen chairs struck him square in the face, successfully cutting off anymore attempts. For now anyway.

Iceland quickly wriggled away from Denmark as well. “Don’t you have any shame??”

Denmark only shrugged. “Occasionally.”

”Are you drunk!?” Iceland asked, exasperated by his antics. “I just... I can’t believe any of that happened.”

”Jeez, Ice. You were just a baby.”

Iceland held his face in his hands, groaning. Denmark snickered. 

“If I’m being honest, I’m a wealth of pretty embarrassing stories about all of us Nordics.” Denmark pointed at his chest. “But I’ve always gotten over my embarrassment and moved on in the best way possible.”

Norway emerged from the kitchen with intent to verbally drag Denmark written all over his face. “Let me tell Iceland about the time you nearly dropped your axe on your foot when trying to impress some women, then. There’s another time you ran at full speed into one of the castle windows and almost went right through it.”

Denmark waved his hands in front of him as Norway leaned over the couch, getting closer and closer to him with every mention of a strange tale. “No! Stop! Those are way worst when you have context and details!”

Iceland watched them, feeling incredibly mature in comparison.

**Author's Note:**

> This was meaningless nonsense


End file.
